today's instructions

dear heart,

don't lose focus.

love and don't stop.

be humble.

be thankful.

forgive.

misdirection

i am falling

like the swatches
on a tree
that just heard news
it is autumn

in admittance of fears
comes vulnerability

certainty,
your validation
of my open heart,
is scarce

will you see my fears
as items to be:

' ' fragile, handle with care ' '

it is all a web
of misdirection

my hope for happiness
does not rest with you

nor does yours with me

nor either of ours in anything of this world,
which will wilt like autumn swatches

my hope for happiness
rests in God.

e.n.o.u.g.h.

a person that i consider wise
once told me,

in the moments when you
are not sure if you'd make it
you're overwhelmed
or discouraged

say to yourself

:: in this moment, God is enough ::

i need nothing more.

when . . .

do you ever feel entirely

disconnected

from the world around you?

then you feel guilty for
the glimpse of self pity you
allowed yourself?

when is it okay?

when is it okay to say:

over here!
look at me!
see me!
notice me!
care for me!
love me!

shiver no more

i'm cold
it reminds me of home
i miss it
but not so much

i left home
and left part of me
the part that held me down
kept me from love,
from life eternal

i don't want to be reminded of
who i left in new york

i am now
the 'kimberly'
i was meant to be

i was looking for her for a long time
blinded by the dark

it was there when His arms
reached around me
held me tight
and i heard His whisper

. . . "I love you" . . .

i am not cold anymore.

i will sing . . .

I've been thinking a lot about friendships lately. The friendships I have, the friendships I wish I had, if I am a 'good' enough friend. Then I got caught up in thinking, "what exactly is a 'good' friend?" Oddly enough I went to dictionary.com to define the term 'friendship' for me. No, I do not resort to an internet word search engine for life guidance. Anyway, there were several things that popped up for 'friendship'. What caught my eye was a synonym at the bottom: harmony.

So, of course, I looked up the term 'harmony'. One of the offered definitions stated the following:

A consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts; congruity

There is a verse in James that I love, James 5:13. The verse says, "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms." There is a footnote in the MacArthur study Bible for this verse that states, "The natural response of a joyful heart is to sing praise to God."

I'm always captivated by the concept of love. I'm always shocked to see the torment of this world, and I sit back and wonder: why can't all people experience and display love? Perhaps I am so taken aback by God's amazing love for me, in spite of all my sin, that I am so shocked when others find love so absent in their lives. I'm often times consumed with the wonder of whether or not I love enough, in every situation.

Looking back at friendships, I wonder if I approach them in a way where I am showing them love in every possible aspect that love is, as God showed it to be? Could friendships that truly model love, that strive to make each other better ambassadors for the kingdom of God, that rejoice in the forgiveness and grace of God create a harmonious melody to the ears of our Lord? By the definitions provided, and God's Holy Word, is it possible that friendships can be another way to bring praise to our God?

Just a thought . . .

rise above the bird feed

Too often we get swept away in our own worry. We worry about having a job, paying our bills, if we will remain healthy, the safety of our loved ones, and so much more that in the grand scheme of things are relatively minute.

I can not say I am exempt from the aforementioned catalysts of worry. I recently finished reading through the book of Philippians and was contemplating what book of the Bible to tackle next. I thought about it briefly and the book Matthew popped into my head. I can't say I meditated or prayed on the decision for an extensive period of time, but I felt confident God placed Matthew on my heart. My belief was confirmed when last Sunday Journey, the church I attend, was challenged to collectively read through Matthew 6 this week. Complying with my pastor's request, I stumbled upon Matthew 6:25-27, not for the first time, but this time it resonated in me a bit differently than before.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and fettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion-do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shappy alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen-don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep you life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met." Matthew 25-33 (The Message)

We all worry, some more than others, but it is inevitable. What we do with our worry and the situations that inspire a worrisome heart, is what I believe to be the bigger question. I can either focus on how I can rid myself of worry, rather unsuccessfully, or I can turn it over to God. Easier said than done, right? What if we approach the situations that cause us worry in a scope that looks at that same situation that used to inspire dread in a way that asks, "how can I live in this one situation in a way that will show God's love?"

In teaching, how can I show these children slivers of God's grace? How can I reveal God's love? How can I display forgiveness in the way God ultimately forgives us all?

As a girlfriend, how can I be a spiritual encouragement? How can I show true, selfless love every day? How can I be a Biblical woman of God to the man that I love?

As a friend, how can I be a spiritual supporter? How can I hold those I love accountable to Christ, and ask them to do the same? How can I best pray for those I love?